When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
