best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm too high and old for this...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
