that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
