the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
