ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
