FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
