I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Damn victory sex feels great
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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