I need help removing her.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
