He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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