I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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