Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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