i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I cut my penus on the lid.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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