thus making me awesome and them whores
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
