Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize