Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
