i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
