You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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