And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
