OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
