weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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