Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
