But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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