lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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