mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
