love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
