He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
