Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
