Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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