And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
how can u be prego again
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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