i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
