Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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