ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
