i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
