I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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