two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
