dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
