I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
