quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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