I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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