I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
