The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
