Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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