The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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