I think i peed on brittanys purse
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
