Banned from zoo.
Again?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
A bitchslap is in order.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
