So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
