I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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