i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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