Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
