Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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