remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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