I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
