..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
