Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
