dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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