Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
