I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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