My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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