but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize