I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
