dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
